thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
