Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
