is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
