running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
