I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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