"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
