good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i out mim tonsoeep
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
