try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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