god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize