I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
