Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
