Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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