I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
