Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
is it fun? or sober?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
