Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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