Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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