so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
