i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize