I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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