butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
