sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
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