Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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