It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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