Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
