remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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