listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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