shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
