I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
