He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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