Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize