yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
