What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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