my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
