Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
