I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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