Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize