get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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