Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
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Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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