I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
