life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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