She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
