Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize