remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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