I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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