Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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