i already hear my dad disowning me
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
