You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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