So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
