I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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