Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
