oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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