Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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