I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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