this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
