what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
