Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
