yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
