I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
