We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
These tits shall not be calmed
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
