Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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